[I want happiness|I seek happiness|Please take me there]

Hooker/Waitress.Model/Actress... [ In the sea of life | Love Is A River ] [ So take me | someplace far away ] [ Pictures of | the past ]

[23 Apr 2005|12:03pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | nervous ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Godsmack // Alive ] I have a job interview today. For blockbuster. I'm really nervous because this will be my first interview and I have no experience. I probably won't get hired, but what the hell, it probably won't kill me either. Read my mind

[20 Apr 2005|04:26pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | indifferent ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Madonna // Take a bow ] 4 months. That's how long it's been since I last updated. You'd think that after such a long period of time I'd have loads to talk about, but if you think that then you don't know me at all. I still suck and still have no life, though I'm trying to get a job. Becca and I have passed the one year mark of knowing each other and that makes me happy, but I hate the fact that I can't see or speak to her. We do talk online though and since that's all we have it's good enough for me. College is in so-so mode. If I get a job I'm going to leave school for a while. For how long, I don't know. I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere so it's time I try something else. 'Tis all for now. Read my mind

I don't know how to live without your love. I was born to make you happy... [10 Dec 2004|10:39pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Heartbroken ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Britney Spears// Born To Make You Happy ] I just found out that the girl I love is engaged to someone else. Somehow I knew something like this would happen because no matter how much Becca and I love each other, I can't be there for her(physically, that is), and I knew that someone would steal her away. I wish I could be selfish and say it isn't fair and that I had her first, but that just isn't the person that I am. Everything I say sounds silly anyway. Even if I was closer to her, how I could I compete? It'll be a while before she's going to be married and I want her to be happy-that's what I've always wanted- but it feels like my heart's been ripped out. I started to cry right after she told me, and I'm still crying. I haven't felt this broken since Sunny and I broke up. I'm not mad or anything, but I guess confused would be a better word. She loves me and her fiancé said she could be with other girls, but I sort of feel like I'm in the middle. I told Becca that I would back down if I had to, and she told me that she wouldn't let me go so easily. I don't want things to change between us and I hope that they don't, but what would you do if you had the heart of the one you loved, but nothing else? Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[30 Nov 2004|05:28pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | lazy ] I took my last psychology test before my final and guess what, bitches? I got a B! Yeah, a B. And I only studied for 10 minutes this morning. Luck was on my side today. I hope I can get half as lucky with my final. I spoke to Rob yesterday. When I called, he was riding his bike, so we didn't talk long. End of conversation. Thank you and good night. Read my mind

Vacation's over. Time to go back to school... Wait. This a good thing how? [28 Nov 2004|03:28pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | hopeful ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Blondie// One Way or Another ] How was everyone's Thanksgiving? Mine was good. I went over to my grandfather's house and my whole family was there. My uncle cooked and the food was so good. I didn't eat very much because I was still sick. My aunt and uncle came by later in the evening and they brought homemade mini-cheesecakes and mini-Oreo cakes. I had the Oreo cake and that was beyond good. Also, my Aunt gave me a card and it's hilarious. It has all the Sesame Street characters gathered around a table with Big Bird in the middle, dead and cooked. And on the inside, it says "Here's wishing you a big bird this Thanksgiving." I have a sick sense of humor, so I loved it. ^_^ The day after, my mom had her biker friends come down from the Bay Area. I had already met a few of them, but the others I met for the first time. They were nice, but loud. One of the guys, Rob, has a crush on me. He's only a few years older then I am and he's a carpenter. He humored me, and played Monopoly- Lord of the Rings, with me. No one won cause we called it a draw at 2:30 in the morning. He put the one ring on my finger and said "With this ring, I do thee wed." I was like ok... My mom even said that out of all her friends, she would pick Rob as a son-in-law. Getting a little ahead of ourselves, don't you think, mom? I got his phone number and his email, so I think I'll keep in contact with him and see what happens. Read my mind

[25 Nov 2004|12:41am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | tired ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Dave Mathews Band// When The World Ends (remix) ] Yesterday was chainedangel's birthday. Everyone needs to wish her a Happy Birthday cause she's hot shit. ^_^ I've spent most of the day sleeping cause I'm sick. Hoo-ray. -.- My mom said I had a slight fever, but I didn't feel hot. Mom knows best I suppose. I got to stay home today, which I don't know if that was a good thing because I missed out on my computer class, and I actually like that class. Whatever. I ate a slice of pound cake and I drank some orange juice earlier. Those were the only things I had eaten all day and now I feel sick again. Such a vicious cycle. Read my mind

[23 Nov 2004|11:13am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | crappy ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Natalie Imbruglia// Left of the middle ] This morning, my sleep was interrupted by my mom shouting from my bathroom. Apparently, there was an ant invasion. I share a bathroom with my brother and we each have our own cup, which we use when we brush our teeth, and the ants were after his cup. That's what he gets for not washing his hands after eating. Fuck. I'm sick, and to add onto my crappy state, I wanted to go to see a movie today. But, I don't want to be sneezing all through out the film. Being sick blows mushroom chunks. I have to clean up the house today too. Because of the ant incident and cause this weekend, a few of my mom's biker buddies are stopping by. Oh, joy. -.- <--- That about sums up how I feel right now. I just want to sleep... Read my mind

[22 Nov 2004|01:23am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | cynical ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Shinedown// 45 ] I was watching Sealab 2021 earlier and I saw a poster in the background that said, "If you can't cry... cut yourself." I thought it would be funny, if it weren't so true for myself and so many other people. Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[21 Nov 2004|11:26pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | worried ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Origa// Inner Universe ] I just had to break the bad news to Julie, and tell her I couldn't watch the girls. It's just too much responsibility and on such short notice. If I had more time to prepare and if had a way to pick up my brother from school and still take care of them at their house, then things might be different. My mom doesn't want Chey, who's two, running around our house. She collects really rare snowglobes and they are very fragile. Two year olds like to touch things... and well, you could imagine what might happen. I feel really bad. She has no one else to watch them and if she changes her hours so soon after starting work, she might get fired. I really am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Read my mind

WTF? [20 Nov 2004|03:18pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | hungry ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | SemiSonic// Fascinating New Thing ] I just got a call from my friend, Julie. She wants me to baby-sit her two girls. She wants me to watch them Tuesdays for like seven hours. I don't know how long this would last cause she just got a job at Sears and no one else is available to watch her kids. Not even her sister. Laurie is only willing to watch them for a few hours. Kind of sad I think, cause they are her nieces. I want to help her, but I get the feeling if I start to watch them one day a week, then it will start to turn into five days a week and I have finals coming up. I don't even know if she's going to pay me. Once, maybe twice I'd consider this a favor, but not all the time. At some point I'd have to start asking for compensation. I know why she's asking me. It's cause I have no life, so to speak. I have no kids, no boyfriend and all my time is spent either at home or school. But, I'm not stupid either and I'm not a personal baby-sitting service. Read my mind

[18 Nov 2004|10:19pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | annoyed ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Tonic// If You Could Only See ] Just a thought for the day. Why in the world does the Ice Cream truck come around at five o'clock in the evening, in November? Who in the hell needs ice cream at that time? Anything for money I suppose... Read my mind

[17 Nov 2004|10:22pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | weird ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Evanescence// Before the dawn ] I believe sometime in July was the last time I updated. Sad really. I just abandoned my journal. Tsk, tsk, on my behalf. Well, I'll try to recap what's happened since my last update. In August I had my 20Th birthday. Yay for me. In September, I started driving lessons and my fall classes. I'm taking Biological Psychology and Photoshop. I got back in contact with two of my old friends from High School. Found out that one of them now has two girls. Both very cute. In October, my driving lessons ended and I decided not to take my driver's test. I felt I wasn't ready. So, I'll just wait and apply for my permit again and see what happens the next time around. I went trick-or-treating for the first time in years and I actually had fun. Now, I'm getting ready to take the finals for my classes next month. 15 chapters worth of information for my psych class, and I can guess what I'll have to do for my Photoshop class. There's a guy who works at the bookstore on the college campus that my mom thinks would be a good match for me. Hmm... we'll see how this one goes. I just got promoted to a moderator on a LotR site, that I'm a member of. I'm special. Read my mind

[20 Jul 2004|01:44am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | mellow ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Family Guy theme song ] Oh, for fuck's sake. I haven't really updated in a while. I've gotten quite boring, I know this... I made a new background to match my broken heart(I'm so dramatic), I like it though. A few brushes and random placement can create good things. On a different note: Friday there is a comic convention coming to San Diego and I'm going to it! What's so special about this convention you may ask? Well, in particular, one name: Billy Boyd. If you don't know by now who he is, where have you been? Not only is he my new obsession(see below for icons), but he played my favorite character from The Lord of the Rings, Pippin Took. He along with David Wenham, who played Faramir, also one of my favorite characters, will be showing clips from the Return of the King extended edition coming out this fall. I don't know if they will be doing a meet and greet, but just to be in the same room with them is more then enough for me ^_^ Also, Dom, who played Merry Brandybuck, is going to be there the day after promoting his new show, Lost. He will be doing a meet and greet... fate hates me. I can only go to one day, but I have decided to go to on Friday. The Billyness calls to me... Read my mind

[14 Jul 2004|06:45pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | busy ] I now have a journal where I can post my icons. It's located here facingthetruth Read my mind

[12 Jul 2004|11:25pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | dorky ] More Billy. He's magiclly delicious. I told you he was delicious ^_~ Read my mind

[12 Jul 2004|09:03pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | hot ] A new batch of icons. ( Billy! ) Read my mind

[11 Jul 2004|12:37am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | annoyed ] I cut my hand opening a wine bottle for my mom. Stupid bottle. Read my mind

[09 Jul 2004|11:56pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | hungry ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | The Beatles// Yesterday ] I've made some new icons, hot off of the photoshop line. ( Drumroll, please... ) That is all. Read my mind

[25 Jun 2004|02:28pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | dorky ] I finally have some pictures of my rat. So let me introduce ( guy ) Read my mind

Freaking Hell [24 Jun 2004|12:15am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | exhausted ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Maroon 5// Shiver ] I just got home from a baseball game. Some of my mom's friends are visiting from the bay and they took us to go see the Oakland Athletics play against the Angels. Oakland lost, but it was cool cause I've never been to a game before. After the game my brother got seperated from everyone and I think I shortened my life by 3 years looking for him. John, one of my mom's friends is really nice and cute, but he's taken -_- darn it I'll put some pictures up later, but I'm freaking tired as hell. Read my mind

[22 Jun 2004|06:31pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | excited ] I got an early birthday present from my mom today: I got a digital camera! ^_^ It really was my b-day gift, but she was going to give it to me so I could take pictures when Danella came, but as you know that never happened. I bet she's glad too cause now I won't have to use hers anymore. Anywho, it's totally sweet that I now have my own camera and it takes really good pictures too. ~~~~~~~~ I told my mom that I wanted to paint my room in the colours or Rohan (green and brown), but she's all blah, blah, blah about it >. Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[18 Jun 2004|08:20pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | disappointed ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Lit// Over my Head ] Well update news: 1) I got my computer back, yay! 2) I painted my bathroom peach, it looks ok. 3) I had a friend coming to see me, but she had to go home early. Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[12 Jun 2004|12:55am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | okay ] My mom bought me a bow Wednesday. It's a red and pretty fiberglass with a 20lb draw and it's 50" tall. I don't have a target yet. I'm thinking of getting some hay and stuff it into a cardboard box. It would be less expensive and just as effective as any target I'd spend $50 on. ------ I finsihed reading The Silmarillion and The Hobbit this week. I'm reading The Lord of the Rings again. Actually, I realized that reading those before reading LotR again helps to better understand the book. Sure this maybe old news for some people, but hey, give me a break ok? Read my mind

[09 Jun 2004|09:28pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | aggravated ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | No Doubt// Spiderwebs ] Hello to all. I'm using my mom's laptop since mine crapped out(again). I took mine to my grandpa's to have my uncle fix it Saturday, but he never showed up. So now it's at his house. That very same day I lost my LoTR brooch! I cried cause I let my mom down when I lost it, but she ordered me another one. I had to clean up the house and back track all my laziness for two days, but that's my fault. I was mowing the lawn for the first time today, but low and behold I broke the lawnmower. The pull string came off the track. My mom's gonna look at it tomorrow... I have such bad luck. Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[01 Jun 2004|10:35pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | cranky ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | AFI // This Time Imperfect ] I took some pictures ( for your amusement ) Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[01 Jun 2004|02:45pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | exhausted ] I'm so tired. I've been sleeping on and off since last night. Though it seems that no matter how long I sleep I'm still tired. It feels like all of my strength has been takes from me... I guess I'll try and recover from my exhaustion now... Read my mind

[31 May 2004|06:41pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | excited ] I just got home from the Renaissance fair. I had so much fun just like before. My aunt and uncle came too. My mom finished my cape and I wore it with my burgondy and gold dress. I got a straw fan and it has red and silver ties at the end. I tried Archery again. I still wasn't able to hit the target, but atleast this time I didn't need help shooting ^_^ Overall I had a great time. I hope that if we're still here next year I can go back. I'm so addicted... Read my mind

[30 May 2004|03:41am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | tired as hell ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Marilyn Manson// Tainted Love ] Finally all the outside painting is done! My grandfather and uncle came over yesterday to help finish the outside of the house. I had to repaint the shutters since the first time I didn't know that I was using the wrong colour. After 3 hours I thought my arm was going to fall off. My mom and I put together a two-person swing. It's really nice with a canopy and a magazine holder =D Well, I've been up since 9:30 yesterday morning and now I'm going to bed. This makes 300 entries Read my mind

[27 May 2004|04:51pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | accomplished ] I made a nifty glitter name. Yay for me! Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[25 May 2004|10:25pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | excited ] I got my copy of RoTK today. I'm watching it for the second time now. I got a nifty mini Aragorn figure when I paid for it, there was a poster that I was to get also but the store didn't have them in stock yet. So when they get them in, I'm going to pick mine up of course ;) That is all. Read my mind

[22 May 2004|09:28pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | lazy ] I saw Troy yesterday. I thought it was pretty good and sad at some parts. My mom and brother went to see Shrek 2 and they had to wait for, I guess, about an hour for Troy to finish, It's almost a 3 hour movie. I can't/won't say too much for those who have yet to see it. So, that is all. Read my mind

[18 May 2004|05:47pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | chipper ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | RoTK SDTK// The Grey Havens ] I got the RoTK soundtrack today. It's the really nice version with the green leather covering and it even came with nifty character stamps, pictures from the movie and a dvd. Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[16 May 2004|03:00pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | cranky ] I had to teach my computer a lesson, again. The hardware wanted to crap out so I had to fix it; in the end victory was mine! My mom was going to take me to see Troy today, but after battling it out with my computer I'm much in the mood to go. Read my mind

[14 May 2004|07:40pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | angry ] I was eating an ice cream I bought while taking a break from working on the backyard and when I was just getting to the good part, my ice cream broke and fell T_T I miss my ice cream... Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[14 May 2004|04:49pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | exhausted ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Lacuna Coil// My Wings ] My mom bought a bunch of loose bark for the backyard and had it dropped off today. I spent almost two hours shoveling and wheeling it from the driveway to the back of the house and there's still a lot left to move T_T I'm tired of seeing bark everywhere >. Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[12 May 2004|01:14am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | contemplative ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Static-X// Bled for Days ] I'm in the process of reading J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion. Only 30 pages into it, and already so much has happened. It's quite informative as to the events in the very beginning of Middle-Earth. The next book I plan to get is, of course The Hobbit, and then The Languages of Middle-Earth. There are others I plan to buy in time also, but for now I want those two. Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[08 May 2004|12:17pm] [ Listening to I'm feeling | disappointed ] I saw Van Hellsing yesterday. I wasn't all that impressed. The graphics were good, but the plot was bland and there were too many questions left unanswered. Like why was Van Hellsing over 400 years old and how did he know Dracula? Did he know Dracula's father? I wanted to see Troy, but it doesn't come out until next week. At least with Troy I know how it's going to end; unlike Van Hellsing, I won't have to guess what's going on Steal my thoughts| Read my mind

[06 May 2004|03:48am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | bored ] Once again I have made more icons. ( Behold ) Read my mind

[06 May 2004|01:22am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | annoyed ] [ Listening to I'm feeling | Evanescence// My Immortal ] I called the place that my doctor told me to schedule my mamogram at, but I found out that they haven't done mamogram testing in over 2 years. So, that was interesting. Read my mind

[05 May 2004|02:33am] [ Listening to I'm feeling | accomplished ] I downloaded the invader zim theme for my phone. Yeah... that's about it. Read my mind

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]